Pani da rang vekh ke Akhiyaan cho anju rul de

Seeing the color of water,
tears roll down my eyes
my lover didn't come, my beloved didn't come..
seeing the glow of the eyes,
tears roll down my eyes..
I went mad without you, come o my love,
all the rain flowed away, nothing stayed in my heart,
seeing the glow of eyes,
tears roll down my eyes..
on the roof our eyes are used to meet,
I don't have to leave you ever..
I fell for you, I love you,
You'll not find anyone else (so much loving and caring)
You too come, leaving everyone..
You too come, leaving everyone..
tears roll down my eyes..
tears roll down the eyes..


Here I am , so madly into a guy. &then he doesnt exactly feel the same. 
Yeah i got his number, but it doesnt seem to go how I thought it would be.
But it was so weird, While thinking of him on Friday , when i was going to Little india 
get my eyebrows done. I thought I'd see him or someone related to him , exactly that time
I turned to my left . And there was his cousin sister. How weird could that get. I don't know how
to react to this. Mere coincidence much ? BUT IT"S WEIRD. 

Dint text him from wednesday , then Sunday he texted me himself. Well , Definitely lighted my face up. But why doesnt he text too much. I cant picture it .Am i irritating him by texting , or does he want me to do the job. Its confusing .

ON the other hand, RN calls from camp. I miss him though . Had some weird ass dream of us. GEEZ !
but when I talk so nicely to him , he takes it differently. I don't even wanna think of a relationship.
Not ready at all . I cant jump , not this point of time. AT ALL . I need to see things clearer , clearer than water. NOT CONFUSED . He's meeting me this sat . I miss him anw . but I cant get this any more confusing . NO WAY. no no no way .

Then there's N , added me on fb after seeing me in a club. Kept bumping into him few times . & he was always looking forward to fb chat me after book out and stuff. We were friends , just friends. Started texting , then got along really well . He took care while i got drunk in a club. DONT ASk .. was ugh bad drunk . Dint do anything with him , duh . Just starting arguing with assholes. Hah. hilarious,.
then now , like today . He confessed . He likes me . I dont know how to take this. He's nice . But I cant do this. Why's it all happening in such wrong times. So annoying .

I have this guy I'm mad about ,who doesnt really does back . And then my bestfriend I'hv known for 5 years and counting, been thru way to much together , complicating issues and crap , he lies alot , way too much . that i dont even know how to trust him , treated me so bad before he went camp, still forgave him and still talking . & then this guy who's just so sweet , who wants to be there while I'm down , despite not being in a mood , willing to fetch me from clubbing , wanting to surprise me just cause I felt like crying . Damn . just too nice to know all these. But I dont know how to react. 
All these together. Not cool . NOT ALL AT .

On the OTHER BLOODY HAND ,
there goes my mother . Driving me nuts. Like I could kill her anytime I feel like. IF ONLY I DONT GET CHARGED . GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEz ! FML to that. 

All my goals are like just simple .
Get good grades,
As for all , study smart. Get Scholarship for a degree. 
Then by 23 , Im done with my Degree. Find a good earning job . 
Boys, can wait. Men, can wait. Love , can wait. 
But if the right one comes, how to wait ? =/ Crap .

good night . sigh .

Weirdday

Beginning of the day seemed good.

Him asking to tagg his name to my status. I woke up to that & starting giggling to myself .
I blushed , duh .
Then told him , sorry I forget next time i would. HAHAHA! So funny , only cause I'm stating the fact, cept for the part of forgetting ?

WHY ARE YOU SO FICKLE MINDED

Alright ,
So I'm becoming a lil too weird. Where does my courage come from , I HAVE NO FREAKUN IDEA.
Not fuelled with alcohol . that's number one. Never was like that , number two . Number three. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. but it's good. I like it .
well see , I had this convo with him ,and ended up giving my number while singing " Hey I just met you , & this is crazy , so here's my number 9620**** , text me maybe? " thingggg .
And he replied ,
" Don't worry , you'll know what I mean by no effort at all . kk I'll text you " , then it was done.
He texted me, obviously .

But well , he definitely kept up to his words la. NO EFFORT . that's what i mean.
He really does give me that electricity through my veins, spine. WHATEVER .
Blood races through every single part of my body . Geeeez . Just seeing his name on my PHONE.
How does he do that. People have liked me , yes. But no one really made a huge impact like him . weirdly .
We never met , but wow. Thats awesome isnt it.

Right , so.
I was texting my friends, and then coincidentally i scrolled down. Saw him typing something. So i thought he's   msging me. And then it went off. he was typing , then deleted what he typed . BUT WHY . LIKE WHY.
So after few minutes, i did it. =D . Act all so normal . Asked about his school of course. He said it was pretty bad. So the usual talk ya know. Well I don't wanna text him all the time . give some space to breathe.
I REALLY LIKE HIM . you have no idea.

Till next time. HAHA.

I plan to WRITE. Like actually WRITE WRITE.

So Hi ,
I'hv been having this dream I'd say. Of becoming a big time writer.
But in singapore, I doubt that happening .
& my story , would begin with Jangari , the day met him till date.  Yeah.
Whatever that happened in between. It'll be great, dontcha think ?
Well , it'll be great to have jangari back in two days time. & I can't wait .
There's two guy that wants to get to know me better and hang out right now .
Oh , and  Saturday was just BADDDDD, i got pissed fucking drunk. & yeah, damn !
i'm all over you man , JANGARI ,. thats it . I mean , I have a list for my dream guy .
Well , you still make my dream guy . What am I saying . Geez . CAN YOU PLEASE ASK ME OUT!
& then I'll go , "i thought you would never ask" . If you ever saw this blog , damn. I'll be embarrassed man.
I could go on about you . How you have sucha cute smile , you look likie Siddharth , the actor. HE IS SO BLOODY CUTE . and how you so soft , very gentle , lovable to your family , esp your mum ? , & you seem so stern and serious, whereas you're so not . I mean I dont directly know that,  but I kinda know that.
you're the guy I really would love to spend my time with . Gosh , Can you imagine if things btw us went nasty. Nah, i can't. Has to start somewhere right. Everyone needs a partner someday.
Ahh, if I were to write a story , I'll name it . The Leo Man . Whatcha say. Plan's good ?

Damn boy , you make my heart go wild.
Please , I hope you're looking forward to chat with me too . I hope.
Well maybe not , cause you're not that kinda guy . Cheesy and you know. Publicfied.
I still LIKE YOU . for who you are.

Goodnight A.R .

<3 p="p">

The only man who doesnt seem to test my patience

it's sat , so well . 6 more days huh .
Interestingly went by . Honestly , I never really missed a boy this much, but hell yeah.
This guy really did.
I don't want the part of my life to interfere in btw. Or if i aint that goodd looking. I dont know. Something ?
I wanna make it work , at least start somewhere.
I dont even know where to begin like my previous post.
begin with his number , & if he doesnt pass it then it shall be the end. end of facebook & end of everything.
I wont face him at all . honestly. it'll be too much to handle. esp when I'hv had feeling for god knows how long !? Its gonna be hard. yeah i tried, i really tried not to think about him , but it's diff. Dont blame me, like what he said right .
He said I was gonna virtually miss him , virtually means (actually), (truely, real ) whatever along that line, and i ACTUALLY did miss him real bad. I could stare at his name on my chatbox , every single day hoping he'll be online.
Damn, did i write about me dreaming about him . I dont remb, but yeah I did dream about him. it was so good. it felt so real , like he actually cares. deep down , i hope he does. He's the kinda egoistic man , but im cool with it . as long as he shows it to me, I don't need it to be public. really. even i wont want it that way. LOW PROFILE STUFF . but dude, I dont even know if he likes me . God knows if he finds me that annoying lil girl , or like those girls he said don't want happening again . ah man .
there was once he even asked if my status was for him , out of allllllllll the people i know , why would he think its bout him , it's that gut feeling right. it will nver let you down if it's fucking strong. See , it was and was  not for him. The good part was, and the bad part was for a friend that drove me nuts. i keep thinking i'll never meet anybody and Ill nver fall in love. My ex told me that, that asshole. he'll burn in flames if he sees me with him . SERIOUSLY .

God, I know I haven prayed and visited you in a long time. and today i did.
I'm sorry. Just Lead me the way .

Clubbing tomorrow , i hv got no mood since he left for brunei .
But yeah, I'll go for my girls. and see whats up .
I wanna talk to him, real soon .

Hope you're fine man .Oh, & dad won the golf tournament ! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAAY!
LOVE YOU DAD , THE LEO MAN. & YEAH HIM too . hah.

Bleahh .
Gooodnight earthworms.