Wow,
i just saw this drama and it was super meaningful .
About how hardships in life and an actual true story about a man who was chased out of the at the age of 15,
and owns two businesses now and graduated with masters(honours). Respect to this man. Learned alot through this I would say. never give up even if it seems like the worse storm.A very good drama indeed.
Coming to life back , I'hv been sick for the past one week. =.=! Despite taking medicines , it doesnt seem to get better. Sucks much.
Yeah 7 days till he's back . I feel like Imma stalker , some mental freak. Too many things running in my head.
Way to many , like brain's gonna explode. You know I really like him so much that I'm afraid of losing him even when he's not mine. Am I obssessed over him ? I dont think this is obssession right. I dont behave psychotic towards him and talk to him all the time. He needs to breathe , so Do i . Im willing to make it start somewhere. Not sure what I should do and how. I dont wanna seem annoying , irritating . and then he stops talking to me. I dont seem to like anyone else ? Even the ones with money & looks , I DONT CARE . It's so weird. What did this guy do to me at the very first sight ?! , Or maybe after sometime seeing him.
I could think about him all day , literally . Since he's starting school and so am I , I thought that maybe we could study together ya know. Wonder what he'll say . I just dont want any girl to get through . Girls these days are idiots anyway . But well , if im meant to be with him then I will . But I gotta have an effort at least.
I dont even have his freaking number. Neither Do i have the guts to ask . =( Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.
Imagine me saying " Hey I don't have your number , pass me & I'll textcha?" . Jeeeeeez! That's bloody weird and ewwwwww. ME? doing that? NEVER EVER DONE THAT . yeah, like how I asked him to dance when I NEVER EVER asked and wanted to ask a guy . GREATT ! He makes me do things I'hv never and never wanna do in my life . WHERE do i freaking start. I'll have to !
If fate is good enough , May I bump into him while clubbing , and I can start from there at least ? Like a conversation there and then dance , hopefully . then number exchange. then hang out .Blah blah .
I should really try to not write about him and think about him . Seriously. He makes me melt.
Just the way he is. Tsk .Ok nisha, shut up .shuttttttt up.
Stay safe , may the angels take good care of you .
Heart full of gold ,
diamonds you're worth
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
9days left
Nine day left till you're back.
I can just go on and on thinking about you.
Still praying that you're safe and having fun.
Still praying that somewhere in you, you're thinking
About me.
I dreamt about you, that you actually fb messaged me,
Telling me how awesome it is there and the things
That you did and happened. I thought it was
Real cause it seems oh so real. It was just a dream of cause.
A dream I wish was real. I wanna be part of you,
You family.
Id do anything to make you happy, the genuine way.
Oh, I miss having a Convo with you.
Takecare.
Goodnight ;)
I can just go on and on thinking about you.
Still praying that you're safe and having fun.
Still praying that somewhere in you, you're thinking
About me.
I dreamt about you, that you actually fb messaged me,
Telling me how awesome it is there and the things
That you did and happened. I thought it was
Real cause it seems oh so real. It was just a dream of cause.
A dream I wish was real. I wanna be part of you,
You family.
Id do anything to make you happy, the genuine way.
Oh, I miss having a Convo with you.
Takecare.
Goodnight ;)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Not trying would the worse
It's Monday , 27th August.
Dad's surprise birthday went pretty good actually. He was indeed surprised. Thanks to all that helped.
I love you daddy . Towards the night, things were getting nasty . as usual . Had to fight with my mum cause of the amount of wine she was buying in the afternoon. Duh , it dint work. So what happened, YEAH . They got drunk . Nasty and just bad. Did not want to screw dad's birthday at all. & she had to. biggest devil of all. =( Became family problems individually. Im just sorry , so sorry. I wish I was never born for her, do I have a choice for that ? for her becoming my mum? Its something i have got no control on . Yeah I wish I had a MOTHER , likee a good proper one, like how all my other cousins have. A mother that supports, understands , pampers and all. Yeah Im used to all these craps , but at the end of the day . Deep down I still wish . Wish she changes , wish someday she actually behaves like a mother. & that's exactly why I respect all mothers who treats their children the way they should. My ex bf's mum was a really good mum I'd say. really respected and like her ,treated her like my own mum. But that dint last obviously , I wasnt meant to be with him . But thats fine, I dont feel the pinch any longer. My aunty's , yeah . They are my mothers. My Dad,
he's my friend, father, mother and everything else. He knows me in and out. Thats why I love him oh so much.People dont really get how i really feel , cause I'm known for that retarded crazy girl .
But you know they say, the craziest person feels the most pain.
All I wanna achieve in life , would be getting my degree and earning what I want to earn not what i can earn.
These boys, love , feelings , heartbreaks .. Aint necessary now .
Even though , there's that one man in my head all the time since last year December 14th, the day I first saw him obviously. I'm not saying I'll have him in my life as my life partner. But I'm willing to try , willing to try to melt his heart . There have been different guys in these months definitely , but no matter what happens , I still have him in my head. I don't have his number till date, nothing. Facebook chat helps alot. All these months ,
i just feel more and more attached. I care too much for him. Praying that he'll have a great trip in Brunei for the next two weeks. and he's safe out there & return safely. So that I can have my conversation with him once again.
I'm not drop dead at all ,
I have pimples,
Scar & My own Flaws ,
I'm not rich , not a huge house.
But I have a heart that would take good care of your heart made of gold.
Just a chance to prove .
I dont know why he just cant get outtuh my head.
He rejected me when i asked to dance , I added him , he just would'nt talk properly in the beginning.
then I stopped too , I decided that I aint gonna talk to a rude egoistic person like him , but it started again .
Then continued and led on and on and on. & now I cant get this gem out.
I'm afraid that he'll fall for someone else when he starts school if I don't start doing something about it.
But what if i do , & he stops talking to me ? Even my slightest chance would disappear wont it.
I'd really love to have him God , have a heart full of gold like his throughout my life.
This is for you ,
I hope you're having a time of your life in Brunei and you're safe there!
Return safely Jangari .
Yeah, I honestly I miss you already man. It's just so weird aint it.
I cant be telling you all these directly, you'll prolly hate me alrdy.
Come back soon , I can't wait to have a convo , with you Mr Jangari .
I guess I'll wait till things are meant to be , Praying that you'll not fall for anybody else.
It'll break my heart even without you knowing.
Takecare man.
Your like an angel ,
With A heart fulla gold,
I don't know how I fell,
It feels so cold.
Dad's surprise birthday went pretty good actually. He was indeed surprised. Thanks to all that helped.
I love you daddy . Towards the night, things were getting nasty . as usual . Had to fight with my mum cause of the amount of wine she was buying in the afternoon. Duh , it dint work. So what happened, YEAH . They got drunk . Nasty and just bad. Did not want to screw dad's birthday at all. & she had to. biggest devil of all. =( Became family problems individually. Im just sorry , so sorry. I wish I was never born for her, do I have a choice for that ? for her becoming my mum? Its something i have got no control on . Yeah I wish I had a MOTHER , likee a good proper one, like how all my other cousins have. A mother that supports, understands , pampers and all. Yeah Im used to all these craps , but at the end of the day . Deep down I still wish . Wish she changes , wish someday she actually behaves like a mother. & that's exactly why I respect all mothers who treats their children the way they should. My ex bf's mum was a really good mum I'd say. really respected and like her ,treated her like my own mum. But that dint last obviously , I wasnt meant to be with him . But thats fine, I dont feel the pinch any longer. My aunty's , yeah . They are my mothers. My Dad,
he's my friend, father, mother and everything else. He knows me in and out. Thats why I love him oh so much.People dont really get how i really feel , cause I'm known for that retarded crazy girl .
But you know they say, the craziest person feels the most pain.
All I wanna achieve in life , would be getting my degree and earning what I want to earn not what i can earn.
These boys, love , feelings , heartbreaks .. Aint necessary now .
Even though , there's that one man in my head all the time since last year December 14th, the day I first saw him obviously. I'm not saying I'll have him in my life as my life partner. But I'm willing to try , willing to try to melt his heart . There have been different guys in these months definitely , but no matter what happens , I still have him in my head. I don't have his number till date, nothing. Facebook chat helps alot. All these months ,
i just feel more and more attached. I care too much for him. Praying that he'll have a great trip in Brunei for the next two weeks. and he's safe out there & return safely. So that I can have my conversation with him once again.
I'm not drop dead at all ,
I have pimples,
Scar & My own Flaws ,
I'm not rich , not a huge house.
But I have a heart that would take good care of your heart made of gold.
Just a chance to prove .
I dont know why he just cant get outtuh my head.
He rejected me when i asked to dance , I added him , he just would'nt talk properly in the beginning.
then I stopped too , I decided that I aint gonna talk to a rude egoistic person like him , but it started again .
Then continued and led on and on and on. & now I cant get this gem out.
I'm afraid that he'll fall for someone else when he starts school if I don't start doing something about it.
But what if i do , & he stops talking to me ? Even my slightest chance would disappear wont it.
I'd really love to have him God , have a heart full of gold like his throughout my life.
This is for you ,
I hope you're having a time of your life in Brunei and you're safe there!
Return safely Jangari .
Yeah, I honestly I miss you already man. It's just so weird aint it.
I cant be telling you all these directly, you'll prolly hate me alrdy.
Come back soon , I can't wait to have a convo , with you Mr Jangari .
I guess I'll wait till things are meant to be , Praying that you'll not fall for anybody else.
It'll break my heart even without you knowing.
Takecare man.
Your like an angel ,
With A heart fulla gold,
I don't know how I fell,
It feels so cold.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Yeah you.
Yeah, been long I know.
Had too many thing happening all the time.
Confused child ,yes. I agree. But i have feelings too.
I don't wanna put myself to fall so hard and then break myself.
I know how terrible it felt.
Sleepless night , wet pillows , tears flowingg, heart sinking ( WORST FEELING ) , no mood , just cry and cry, could barely do anything, wake up crying, cried to sleep.
Nothing could be worse than this. Nah, well there can be. So far, this is the worse.
That guy i likee, been 8months since i last saw him ,
been chatting ever since. I can't seem to not like him , cause he's just different.
I dnt wanna stop talking by telling how i feel . Besides, I dont know if Im ready for a relationship.
Been single ever since last year Oct 2011 I'd say. So it's gonna be a year. Wow, not bad huh . Time flies.
Well it's good, im glad.
Then came this guy . I usually ignore these guy that dont reply or you know.
But him , just different. Like he cares, yet he doesnt . Even i dont know.
Why would he care , if we dont talk everytime you know. He has got some HUGE EGO PROBLEM.
I know that, LEO MEN . my dad. equally the same.
I want someone like my dad. & somehow this guy is .
I aint that beautiful, rich and all that crap.
But I knw I wanna succeed in life. Not remain this way. Wanna earn big bucks. HELL YES.
then get married to a beautiful boy , him actually. but i dont know. I can forget anyone but him .
If you know what exactly i mean though . Well , I miss him . I guess he's going on some army trip .
Wont be around.
After he's done with army. he'll have much more time. So i guess, I'll see what I can do .
He starts school , hopefully doesnt meet any girl there. =.= ! I hope he'll like me someday, & eventually
marry me ? I REALLY LIKE HIM & I'd treat him like my very own prince. Honestly.
I'd break a diamond, Bend a titanium , melt a rock . All these impossible things I'd do.
well hey, good things happen to good people.
Let time go, let how much time go.
I believe in it , I believe in him & I believe in us.
<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
Goodnight Jangari . I wish you knew.
Had too many thing happening all the time.
Confused child ,yes. I agree. But i have feelings too.
I don't wanna put myself to fall so hard and then break myself.
I know how terrible it felt.
Sleepless night , wet pillows , tears flowingg, heart sinking ( WORST FEELING ) , no mood , just cry and cry, could barely do anything, wake up crying, cried to sleep.
Nothing could be worse than this. Nah, well there can be. So far, this is the worse.
That guy i likee, been 8months since i last saw him ,
been chatting ever since. I can't seem to not like him , cause he's just different.
I dnt wanna stop talking by telling how i feel . Besides, I dont know if Im ready for a relationship.
Been single ever since last year Oct 2011 I'd say. So it's gonna be a year. Wow, not bad huh . Time flies.
Well it's good, im glad.
Then came this guy . I usually ignore these guy that dont reply or you know.
But him , just different. Like he cares, yet he doesnt . Even i dont know.
Why would he care , if we dont talk everytime you know. He has got some HUGE EGO PROBLEM.
I know that, LEO MEN . my dad. equally the same.
I want someone like my dad. & somehow this guy is .
I aint that beautiful, rich and all that crap.
But I knw I wanna succeed in life. Not remain this way. Wanna earn big bucks. HELL YES.
then get married to a beautiful boy , him actually. but i dont know. I can forget anyone but him .
If you know what exactly i mean though . Well , I miss him . I guess he's going on some army trip .
Wont be around.
After he's done with army. he'll have much more time. So i guess, I'll see what I can do .
He starts school , hopefully doesnt meet any girl there. =.= ! I hope he'll like me someday, & eventually
marry me ? I REALLY LIKE HIM & I'd treat him like my very own prince. Honestly.
I'd break a diamond, Bend a titanium , melt a rock . All these impossible things I'd do.
well hey, good things happen to good people.
Let time go, let how much time go.
I believe in it , I believe in him & I believe in us.
<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
Goodnight Jangari . I wish you knew.
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