And after all these, Im still pulling through .

Sometimes, the hardest thing to understand on earth would be a man .
Really.

ANYWAY , whatever that meant. not really bothered compared to before though .
Well , maybe because I got to focus on better things already ?
Life's really too good to actually waste the time ya know.
So fuck whatever that brings you down , or even WHOEVER that brings you down .

But yeah ,
I am still into him ,
he is still in my way,
He is still that one thing ,
in my head, I'll say.

& Cabin crew's interview on Saturday . Aint sure how's it gonna go but let's just put the best for it ! Yea?
Choices are
-Cabin Crew
-School in Oct
-Asia's Next Top Model .

Geeeez, The last one looks too good. There's still 10 days left.
I'll make a CHOICE within 7days . it'll be a good choice.
& DAMN , tuesday seems to be my lucky day . O.o .

--------
BUT I LOVE TO PLAY WITH SACARSM ? What's that suppose to mean ?
 LIKE SERIOUSLY . WHAT ?
If you're not interested in talking,
you either DON'T REPLY ALMOST ALL THE TIME
Ignore the shit outtuh me
Or tell me directly .

YOU DON'T DO IT SACARSTICALLY right ?
Maybe it was just his honest opinion . I mean, im never rude ?
Never take things seriously serious , I do but not for stuffs like that man .
Whats the point !?
See, still thinking about it . CRAP / STFU nisha.
Good luck for Saturday ! GET THE JOB !
for the monehhhhhhhhhhhh .

Life's all about learning. Learning how to forgive, To forget To move on To get used to things To keep getting used To keep getting cheated and realising To keep getting screwed BASICALLY TO KILL YOURSELF. You have got no idea how much Im tired already.

It sucks when you constantly love the wrong person while the right person is dying to be loved by you. I know we're too young and it's still early to say...but I hope you're the one.

I aint gonna keep my hopes high , at least Im tryin not to .
Though it seems so difficult . It's too early maybe , I don't want things to speed up either.
I want a comfort in between, no tension, no awkwardness. Just normal and nice. Where is starts from being just friends,  then to trusting each other , then to partners.

All I know is , if Im gonna lose all hopes for you , it's gonna be a real long time before I get hopes in believing again.

So , we'll see .

I dont know what I should infer from our conversation yesterday though .

stating that i shouldnt ever bother cause it's not worth .

You're worth every bit dude, every damn bit. And that's exactly why I'm trying really hard , cause I know how egoistic you can get. It's obvious. Working things out is another thing though . but yeah, i strongly think it will .
not because i desperately want you, but it's because I sincerely really like you . Whole heartedly feelings ya know. Oh wells, bring whatever that comes I guess.

I would just blame myself. Cause I just keep believing in these high hopes & fairy tale like storys. That actually feels so real despite everything else . But then again that's what you really want. And when you think it's not gonna happen, it just that you wish does. You can't do anything much, but just continue with how life is. It quite sucks now. I feel like I'm a total loser actually. Why do I put up with a the high opes And then cheat myself. And then get my heart broken. Do I really Deserve it.when he just too good to not be into him. I really like him like no other. I don't know if this feeling is different or whatever so. But I actually feel a whole lot of thing for this guy. I have got no idea at all, if that is how he actually is. Just friendly, too friendly. Replies to almost everything all the time. But have got no feelings cause that's just how he is. Too friendly. And im just taking things to a whole new level unnecessarily cause I really feel for this guy. No I don't expect anything nowC neither am I even ready. Yes slowly, but slowly has to start somewhere doesn't it? If it doesn't, slowly doesn't even happen. Maybe I'm overly thinking. I should just deactivate facebook, get out of this fb and carry on with what life just gives me. I ain't gonna forget him obviously. But that's not the thing, I shouldn't be the only one feelings anything. He is dead egoistic. I can just read that out. But I'm trying, very very hard. & I have got no idea if he talks to me cause he is just plain bored or he feels the same like me or at least feel something at all. Well, yeah if its meant to be then it is. That's the whole point why I don't see myself rushing into anything. Exactly right. Cannot la siaaaaa. I'm still gonna go all out. :( :(:(:(:(

Havent spoke to you for TWO DAYS .
this two days seems like 2 years.
Yeah i know,  it's not the longest we havent spoke for , but
It's getting really bad even for the shortest time .
geeeeeeeez !  I just wish I knew how you felt ? You know .
I mean at least something .
Ahhhh man , I miss you so so maddddddddddddly bad.

I cannot wait to talk to you next. Yeah it's weird.
I dont know your number, nothing much about you . BUT YET , I'm soooooooooo god knows what Im feeling .

Oh well,
good things take time to happen dont they ?
Sometimes good things dont even happen . =(
May the best happen . <3

I wish to be your sunshine
Your look last december
I just wish you were mine
Enough to drive me nuts.


There's just that something in you ,
that doesnt let my mind go
without thinking about you,
So much to let it all go .

Damn boy ,
I'hv never felt this before.
I dont know if Im wrong ,
dont knw if im risking it all .
But im trying so hard not to fall ,
cause Im afraid , itll be another heartbreak .

But then again,
you cant stop your heart from feeling what you actually feel .
yeah ?
Wasnt online the whole day. Hope you're fine though .

I aint rich , or the most beautiful girl you'hv ever known.
But I know I can keep you up there , shower you with all the love you ever wanted
Cause, I really like you just the way you are.

All for you ,Sunshine.

I think it's crush at first sight

thought too much about you

Kept running through my mind

All so very true

It wouldnt work out

left it all alone

what it was all about

thought was already gone

Months passed

the night kept replaying in my mind

All so very fast

Like you're the only kind

I starting liking you

With how you were

I dont expect for you to like me too

But that's all I actually fear

Time gradually flew

Randomly having conversations

4months that I never knew

gave me lotsa dedications

I really don't know how you feel

I don't want to break my heart

Cause, if it's not meant to be

we shall be apart

Leo&Cancer = Well they say, it's works out great.

Oh wells.

it's alright.

And so, crush no love.

Seriously,

I need some serious help with my head.

Went to the temple ,

was barely concentrating. I knew i tried to, but just dint happen.

it was so weird.

What was I thinking.

then after, otw home.

this astrologer who he claimed he was,

started telling me weird things. o.O

THAT WAS FREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKY . endofstory .

I like how you're not cheesy

your simple reply

Feels so easy

Like no other guy.

Nerve wrecking much

Well, it's Wednesday already.

Been having sleepless nights just thinking

About the results I'm gonna receive.

The interview went well last Friday though,

At least I had a goal to reach,

Everything I do is related to sports,

Rejected RP cause I did not wanna do a course I don't like,

So yeah. Spoke confidently and professionally I hope.

It's all in their hands,

Only I know how much I badly want this.

And that I can produce results if I'm given the opportunity to.

Feeling that I'll be receiving the results today afternoon.

Well Im just hoping for a reasonable reply because

I did put my effort for it and I'm truly sincere about my goals.

At least let me reach them while I know I can.

I have learned a lot through this rough times I have had,

Been depressing and really tough. I'd like it all to change,

I want a good future and a life to change.

I want to study hard and achieve good results and prove people wrong.

All I want now,is a chance to prove. THAT'S ALL.

Well god, you're watching me from above.

I want this bad cause I know it'll bring me far.

Bless me with Diploma in Sports & Wellness.

Amen!

Love,

Nisha