You again.

I never get sick of thinking about you,

the feeling just don't fade away

I wished you felt the same too

For an 'I love you' everyday

I don't have your 8 digits

But I have you in my head

Our hearts meets,

each time I go to bed

I wish it would be real

Being like a dream come true

Cause that's how I really feel

something so new

it's all about you man. just you.

NYP =/

Well, thursday. yesterday (29th March 2012)

Saw my application was unsuccessful . I was extremely upset then i realised that I should not leave it this way. I wanna fight for what I really wanna do .

So , my sister called up . then spoke to the course manager. & well he said that ,

he have another interview .

TODAY , friday (30th March 2012) .

I went prepared, knowing what to say and what to explain and blah blah .
There were threeeeeeeeeee interviewers, yeah i said THREE. I DIED.

One on one itself I'll faint. this was three, but i knew i cannot use this to pull me down.
I went on explaining ,beginning with why i chose the course. and all that.

Well , Im pretty satisfied with what I spoke , because I was honest about it .

and I turned down RP's admission. & they knew about it. and asked why.

I told them, I did not wanna do the course im not interested in,& now I'm fighting for this course.
Well, I hope that part would have surprised them , knowing how much I'm willing to sacrifice

just to get that course and prove that I'll be able to achieve good grades and enter a local university. Results will be out , definitely within few days, to my house, by post. definitely .

Well, the interview went well, and I was happy about it . I hope that I would have satisfied them

as well . Only I know, how much I really want this course, and I know that I will be able to do it and get good grades.

Points that they would have got satisfied with

- Aim to NUS

-Sports person

-Turned down RP

Well , I really hope that would have made them know my determination . & plus,

I really do have a good feeling about this .

I believe in myself, before believing in god. that's how I went for the interview

I knew I could do it , went for it. then believe in god. =)

may god bless me for a good result in return.

ehhhhhhhhhhhhh Jangari , thats what i call you .

why dont you seem to be getting outta my head ?

you runn on and on and on dude.

every reply of yours feeeeeeels so good.

cause boy, I'm in love with you.

I may know nuts

but there's this connection

& I don't want it to part

it feel like a great affection

as days go by ,

the feeling grows stronger

I really wonder why

thats how it occurs

silent feelings felt

never ongoing conversations

the feeling dont die

no matter how long the duration

It's the 28th , today.

Well . I prayed really hard for my school.

I'm believing in it, thinking positive.

Leaving it all to god. cause he's always there.
That's my only motivation & the only thing im looking forward to .
A good news today, later in the afternoon .
i love you god. i really do.

I might just give up after this last try .

It's really not gonna be easy.
I can actually feel it .But im not gonna give this fight up yet .

Cause if he's worth every blood , let me do it .

But I gonna know if it's really gonna work right. Not blindly do it .
What if someone else gets him .

It's just gonna be a total heartbreak .

I'll wait , as long as it takes , till I can tolerate.

All for you . nothing much , but it's SOMETHING HUGE.

School will begin by then.

School's being another major headache.
Gotten SIM , but NYP's Result isnt out yet. HOW PANICKY can this shit get man .

Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhh. By next week hopefully , somethings comes up . Geeeez !

Back to him ,

my my my .

He's onlinee all day . Each time I just click on him , wanting to chat.

I just feeeeeeeeeeel like I'm gonna screw it all up .

Sometimes, I just wish he knew how I really am feeling. But I can't be possible be telling him .

Hey, I really like you . & Uhmm , could we hang out.
RIGHT , it'lll be like WTF . He's just run away . =(

I DONT KNOW MAN . I just don't. I wish I'll see him again . Going Rupee on Saturday.

And if i see him then. then it's good i guess. But how do I react. what do I do . i hope he'll at least talk to me. YOU KNOW. =(

when you think not, yes happens.

Ya know ,

today . 15th March 2012 .

I kept thinking that I was prolly pissing the shit outtuh him , by chatting up too much.

& thats why he dint reply. =(

LIKE THE WHOLE ENTIRE DAY .

Then came a reply at around 7,45pm.

I was surrrrrrrrrrrprised. Well , honestly , not surprised. But, ELATED.

I swear , it's like. suddenly the headache and all my terrible sickness disappeared for that one moment. FOOOYOH , unexplainable. What do I call this ?

He had some bad things happening on that day =( , hope everything's alright actually.

SIGHS ! Poor him.

Well, it's be alright. God's with him. Must go temple , tomorrow morning if cannot how =( Aiyaaaah.

He's like pure happiness you know.

It's been months, ya knw. We don't talk everyday, but there's this feeling in me always and everyday.

why, I DONT KNOW. =( Honestly i don't.

They say, feelings more than 4 months is no longer a crush, IT'S LOVE. really ??

cause usually, when i have a crush, it fades away when we stop contacting. But this guy ,

NEVER DID. I really really like him . I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRR. Geeez !

I wont say Im in love. NO WAY. Each time I think I'm in love, eventually it's not and goes away.

BUT fuck all those, THIS ONE'S WAYYYYYYYYYY TOO SPECIAL . <3 <3 <3

It like lying on a bed of roses,

petals falling on you ,

sitting under the stars,

thinking about him ,

and falling deeper and deeper into my feelings.

Oh nisha, SHUT UP.

There'sthisGUY

So, there's this guy .
who i met in a club on the 14th of December 2011 (Wednesday, ladies night).

there was a real major eye contact going on.

he kept looking and duh , so did I .

I loved how he looked at me.
he was at the table right next to mine .
His friend told me to dance with him , and I asked him , WHICH I NEVER DID ASK A GUY BEFORE. & when i asked him for a dance , he said' No, it's okay.,'.

I was speechless and wondered why actually . then i was dancing with his friend,

a chinese guy . and his friend claimed I had to engage him to dance.
He stillllllllll dint dance. & So I had to leave . ='(

went home, thought about him ALL NIGHT , & i mean ALL FREAKING NIGHT.

I woke up , started finding him on FACEBOOK obviously . I couldnt .

Added up his friend, who was my friend's friend. & I asked him . UNBELIEVABLE .
cause I never really did all this detective job and found guys on facebook . =.=!

and i found him through his friend . & yeah, he remembered me. 'THE GIRL wearing the red dress'' though i wasnt wearing a dress. LOL . & i said he denied dancing with me ,

& he said he was pretty drunk that night & rather not dance. So i took it as a reason. haha!

Butttttttttttt , when I was chatting with him . He barely gave me any proper REPLY .

So I was like, FINEEEEE . Why bother when the guy isnt bother or interested right ?

I kinda decide to leave it . But , NO . It dint happen. & thats exactly why I'm posting this on 12th March 2011. After 3months , & he's stilllllllllll up my head.

Well, we chatted very off & on after that day , but I still thought it's not what it's suppsed to be.

Soon , we chatted normally and all that. Like how he claim his girlfriend to be SHRIYA SARAN.

& that he never had a girlfriend before. I kinda dint believe that initially. i mean , who would.

so one day, pretty bored. I stalked his profile , as in viewed his previous posts , all the way till 2009 i think ? Cannot remember, but while reading his past posts , i kinda realised that he never had a interest over a girl nor any relationships . cause apparently his friend hacked and wrote a post on his wall saying that he needs serious help for chicks and all that.

& honestly , after seeing that. I started literally falling for him. LIKE LITERALLY.

Well, he's a leo . Like my dad. & I love my dad & I get along with him so well . Leo's the kinda people who don't really make the first step sometimes ? & we should initiate it, like how I ADDED him , and how I CHATTED first and how i ALWAYS start the convo . It doesnt really matter , cause he still replies my chats.

& So , the conclusion is, I really really like this guy. From the day he looked at me at the club, till today , whatever facts I found out about him . & I'm pretty stuck. Cause I don't wanna make it look like I'm after him which he might get it wrongly. Especially chase him away cause he isnt interested in all this. but well , I'm really hoping. Praying really hard. That after a number of more chat coversations, I'll be able to ask him to accompany me for cycling or something that he and I enjoy doing. I mean there has to be a way .
The way he looked at me at club can't mean absolutely nothing ,can it? I'm sure he had something on that night , & definitely somewhere deeeeeeeeep down. Like myself. I thought i'd leave it , but I havent left it. He's worth every bit of working hard. But I gotta start somewhere.
LIKE SOMEWHERE. If god allows me to . well , I'have always prayed to Ganesha , He did make life easier before and gave me happiness and someways I wanted to. Led me the way for school.

I havent visited him for 3 weeks or a months already , I'll visit him on Thursday Or friday this week or next week to start with. I'll Pray to him for 8 weeks regarding this issue, fast every week once whenever I do my rounds for him . And after that final 8th week, I'll break a coconut for him . Before asking the guy to hang out. Ganesha never lets me down. & I'm sure he'll not let me down for this too . LONGEST POST I EVER WROTE I THINK .

I really like you,

& I really hope you like me too

Getting you into my life ,

would prolly be the biggest gift from god

Being your wife ,

would prolly be the reason to live

Leo & Cancer , A pretty good match.

When I researched.

GOD BLESS ME,

& May this work. <3

Om Gam Ganapathayeh Namaha.