I would just blame myself. Cause I just keep believing in these high hopes & fairy tale like storys. That actually feels so real despite everything else . But then again that's what you really want. And when you think it's not gonna happen, it just that you wish does. You can't do anything much, but just continue with how life is. It quite sucks now. I feel like I'm a total loser actually. Why do I put up with a the high opes And then cheat myself. And then get my heart broken. Do I really Deserve it.when he just too good to not be into him. I really like him like no other. I don't know if this feeling is different or whatever so. But I actually feel a whole lot of thing for this guy. I have got no idea at all, if that is how he actually is. Just friendly, too friendly. Replies to almost everything all the time. But have got no feelings cause that's just how he is. Too friendly. And im just taking things to a whole new level unnecessarily cause I really feel for this guy. No I don't expect anything nowC neither am I even ready. Yes slowly, but slowly has to start somewhere doesn't it? If it doesn't, slowly doesn't even happen. Maybe I'm overly thinking. I should just deactivate facebook, get out of this fb and carry on with what life just gives me. I ain't gonna forget him obviously. But that's not the thing, I shouldn't be the only one feelings anything. He is dead egoistic. I can just read that out. But I'm trying, very very hard. & I have got no idea if he talks to me cause he is just plain bored or he feels the same like me or at least feel something at all. Well, yeah if its meant to be then it is. That's the whole point why I don't see myself rushing into anything. Exactly right. Cannot la siaaaaa. I'm still gonna go all out. :( :(:(:(:(